I could do about 100 of these so we will call this Movie 1:
Opening Credits: SNOW PATROL- Chocolate
Waking Up: THE POSTAL SERVICE- Such Great Heights
First Day at High school/College: CITIZEN COPE- Let the Drummer Kick
Falling In Love: JACK JOHNSON- Posters
Fight Song: PLACEBO- Running Up That Hill Cover
Breaking Up: JOHN MAYER- Slow Dancing in a Burning Room
Prom: RYAN ADAMS- Wonderwall Cover
Graduation Song: DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE- Brothers on a Hotel Bed
Life: DAMIEN RICE- Cold Water
Mental Breakdown: THE NOTWIST- Consequence
Driving: CARY BROTHERS- RideFlashback: KEANE- A Bad Dream
Getting Back Together: MAT KEARNEY- All I Need
Wedding: BEN HARPER- Forever
Birth of Child: BRIGHT EYES- First Day of my Life
Final Battle: 30 SECONDS TO MARS- The Kill
Death Scene: COLDPLAY- The Scientist
Funeral Song: G. LOVE & JACK JOHNSON- Rainbow
End Credits: THE VERVE- Bittersweet Symphony
Thursday, August 30, 2007
What I Want to Do???
Being 25 years old now, and working just to work for 2 years, I have had this one question on my mind for the better part of three years since I graduated college. It’s on everyone’s mind I think growing up, the age old phrase “What do you want to be/ What you want to do.” Where am I going with this? I’m starting to realize maybe as you search for what you want to be (when you “grow” up); you start to learn who you really are and what is really important to you. Growing up soccer consumed my entire thought process on this matter, and it was the only thing I saw myself doing. Not for money, not for fame, just for me. I was pretty good at it, it all made sense to me, and I had a passion for it. After a short run once college ended, circumstances with me pursuing other things in my life ended that, and turning in my cleats hasn’t really resulted in me picking up something else to be passionate about career wise.
Someone once told me, it’s not always finding what you want to do that’s important, it’s finding things along the way that you don’t want to do, and scratching them off the list that gets you somewhere. There is no point in listing what I don’t want to do b/c that could take forever. I’ll just keep that in my head. I guess that principle can be applied to a lot of things in life and I agree with it. But sometimes I just wish I knew. Some things about myself I have always known, others I find out as days go by. I have definitely learned some hard lessons over the last three years that have made me a stronger person, but at the same time I would have been fine with skipping out on more than a few of them that were just distractions getting in the way of what I’m supposed to do with myself already.
When I think about what I want to do with my life, its very frustrating as I get nowhere, and so I just try to think of the things that do bring me happiness. I think a job can’t make you happy; you have to be happy with yourself and have the right attitude about it. Attitude is absolutely everything, the mind is such a powerful thing, and there are a lot of people who work really crappy jobs everyday but they have the right perspective on what’s really important so they do just fine. My problem is I expect to do something big in my life and even having the right attitude about something won’t change that. Once I started working everyday and having to get up I definitely had a new found respect for my father, who has gotten up every day my entire life to give me everything I need and most the things I have ever wanted. Now I strive to be more like him and find something I can be successful with but I do not want to settle for what is just given to me. What I am worried about… frustrations and distractions getting me away from the person my parents raised, and my lack of patience pushing me into all the wrong places thus setting me back in moving forward and growing as a person and doing what I’m supposed to do with my life. Make sense?
Truth be told… I could pick up shoes and go play a soccer game tonight on pure adrenaline if I had to and be fine. Nothing could make me happier. That would solve everything real quick, easy fix. Or would it? Sports used to be everything but now I’m finding other things occupying more of my time and complicating who I am and what I want to be. When I say my time I’m referring only to my time aside from work, which isn’t much. Sometimes I wish I could have experienced playing guitar in front of a few thousand people instead of soccer. There aren’t enough hours in the day to do everything I want to… go to the gym, play guitar, play soccer, do some drawings for my graphic novel I have barely scratched the surface on, watch a new movie, find some new music, try that whole eating thing at midnight, shower, catch up on DVR’ed shows, meet friends to play basketball, have some beers with the guys, build something, clean, do laundry, it all adds up to be so much more time than there is to do it all. My problem is I will always want to do all these things and I never will be able to do them all consistently. Right now its what I hang on to and its not one constant goal with progress. I hope this makes sense… Outside of work I have a million things I know I want to do, and when it comes down to deciding what I want to do from 8 to 5, a focal point in my life, I have no clue.
My three biggest interests… sports, music, and film. Generally speaking that really doesn’t carry over into the corporate world at all, but who cares about the corporate world! I could do pretty much anything involved in one of these three areas. As far as playing a sport that time has most likely passed, but I think broadcasting or some sort of promotions/ marketing/ business side could be cool. My friends always tell me when we are watching games I should be a broadcaster. A lot of the times I will say something before the sportscaster does and my friends will just laugh. You do really have to question how some of these guys get there to begin with, they are absolutely horrible.
Music… there are so many different levels. Just playing acoustic guitar on a back porch with a few people is a great experience. Play the song correct, add a little bit in to make it your own, mess up the words, miss a chord, it still rocks. I could eliminate going to bars from my life if I could get people to jam out on a back porch and have some beers. Unfortunately very few of my friends feel this way and even fewer live close enough to make that happen. I would love to work with anything that had to do with putting music together, promotions, editing, sound, setting up equipment, or even designing album covers I don’t know.
Just like music, film is a wide open area to work in, and also one that’s tough to get a start. Just making movies with my friends is so much fun and some of the guys who put together some of the things we do have some really good ideas about how to film, what to film, characters, ideas for shows/ movies, you name it. I seriously believe we should just have a film crew follow us around and the end result would be very entertaining. Its been done before and made groups of total idiots famous. The fame isn’t important, but if I had the resources I would do it and it wouldn’t suck. I have never seen anyone watch anything we have put together and not like it.
Most of my friends have an appreciation for film and music, with that comes some interesting characters who have some really good times, say some really funny things, with some sort of reference to a movie, with some song in the background, that would be great to get on video and share with other people, because that’s what its all about. Taking ideas from other people, letting them influence you, and finding something to make your own. I’m learning more and more about myself every day… so maybe my time to do what I’m supposed to won’t come for a while, but the influences are all there and I’m starting to recognize them more than I used to.
I want to do something with my life that at the end of the day it means something. Working a job to put food on the table for your family at the end of the day… does mean something, I get it. But right now I’m young, single, and it’s all about me and what I want to do. What I do only affects me, so now is the time to take some chances to do some things. The problem… in the words of my friend J.R., “I don’t know, you know.” People don’t realize how much of an impact they make whether it be good or bad. Some never know and once they are gone there impact is even greater than it ever was. Name some of the greatest musicians of all time and I guaranty you a lot of them you name were way before their time, and their lives were all shorter than they were supposed to be b/c of drugs, sickness, or their genius itself being their downfall. I don’t want to be famous because in all reality what is fame? I just want to go home at the end of the day not caring if I play guitar or work out or just sit and do nothing, because I will already have some feeling of accomplishment like I did something productive with my day. That would be a great feeling… and something worth passing on when I have my own family.
Someone once told me, it’s not always finding what you want to do that’s important, it’s finding things along the way that you don’t want to do, and scratching them off the list that gets you somewhere. There is no point in listing what I don’t want to do b/c that could take forever. I’ll just keep that in my head. I guess that principle can be applied to a lot of things in life and I agree with it. But sometimes I just wish I knew. Some things about myself I have always known, others I find out as days go by. I have definitely learned some hard lessons over the last three years that have made me a stronger person, but at the same time I would have been fine with skipping out on more than a few of them that were just distractions getting in the way of what I’m supposed to do with myself already.
When I think about what I want to do with my life, its very frustrating as I get nowhere, and so I just try to think of the things that do bring me happiness. I think a job can’t make you happy; you have to be happy with yourself and have the right attitude about it. Attitude is absolutely everything, the mind is such a powerful thing, and there are a lot of people who work really crappy jobs everyday but they have the right perspective on what’s really important so they do just fine. My problem is I expect to do something big in my life and even having the right attitude about something won’t change that. Once I started working everyday and having to get up I definitely had a new found respect for my father, who has gotten up every day my entire life to give me everything I need and most the things I have ever wanted. Now I strive to be more like him and find something I can be successful with but I do not want to settle for what is just given to me. What I am worried about… frustrations and distractions getting me away from the person my parents raised, and my lack of patience pushing me into all the wrong places thus setting me back in moving forward and growing as a person and doing what I’m supposed to do with my life. Make sense?
Truth be told… I could pick up shoes and go play a soccer game tonight on pure adrenaline if I had to and be fine. Nothing could make me happier. That would solve everything real quick, easy fix. Or would it? Sports used to be everything but now I’m finding other things occupying more of my time and complicating who I am and what I want to be. When I say my time I’m referring only to my time aside from work, which isn’t much. Sometimes I wish I could have experienced playing guitar in front of a few thousand people instead of soccer. There aren’t enough hours in the day to do everything I want to… go to the gym, play guitar, play soccer, do some drawings for my graphic novel I have barely scratched the surface on, watch a new movie, find some new music, try that whole eating thing at midnight, shower, catch up on DVR’ed shows, meet friends to play basketball, have some beers with the guys, build something, clean, do laundry, it all adds up to be so much more time than there is to do it all. My problem is I will always want to do all these things and I never will be able to do them all consistently. Right now its what I hang on to and its not one constant goal with progress. I hope this makes sense… Outside of work I have a million things I know I want to do, and when it comes down to deciding what I want to do from 8 to 5, a focal point in my life, I have no clue.
My three biggest interests… sports, music, and film. Generally speaking that really doesn’t carry over into the corporate world at all, but who cares about the corporate world! I could do pretty much anything involved in one of these three areas. As far as playing a sport that time has most likely passed, but I think broadcasting or some sort of promotions/ marketing/ business side could be cool. My friends always tell me when we are watching games I should be a broadcaster. A lot of the times I will say something before the sportscaster does and my friends will just laugh. You do really have to question how some of these guys get there to begin with, they are absolutely horrible.
Music… there are so many different levels. Just playing acoustic guitar on a back porch with a few people is a great experience. Play the song correct, add a little bit in to make it your own, mess up the words, miss a chord, it still rocks. I could eliminate going to bars from my life if I could get people to jam out on a back porch and have some beers. Unfortunately very few of my friends feel this way and even fewer live close enough to make that happen. I would love to work with anything that had to do with putting music together, promotions, editing, sound, setting up equipment, or even designing album covers I don’t know.
Just like music, film is a wide open area to work in, and also one that’s tough to get a start. Just making movies with my friends is so much fun and some of the guys who put together some of the things we do have some really good ideas about how to film, what to film, characters, ideas for shows/ movies, you name it. I seriously believe we should just have a film crew follow us around and the end result would be very entertaining. Its been done before and made groups of total idiots famous. The fame isn’t important, but if I had the resources I would do it and it wouldn’t suck. I have never seen anyone watch anything we have put together and not like it.
Most of my friends have an appreciation for film and music, with that comes some interesting characters who have some really good times, say some really funny things, with some sort of reference to a movie, with some song in the background, that would be great to get on video and share with other people, because that’s what its all about. Taking ideas from other people, letting them influence you, and finding something to make your own. I’m learning more and more about myself every day… so maybe my time to do what I’m supposed to won’t come for a while, but the influences are all there and I’m starting to recognize them more than I used to.
I want to do something with my life that at the end of the day it means something. Working a job to put food on the table for your family at the end of the day… does mean something, I get it. But right now I’m young, single, and it’s all about me and what I want to do. What I do only affects me, so now is the time to take some chances to do some things. The problem… in the words of my friend J.R., “I don’t know, you know.” People don’t realize how much of an impact they make whether it be good or bad. Some never know and once they are gone there impact is even greater than it ever was. Name some of the greatest musicians of all time and I guaranty you a lot of them you name were way before their time, and their lives were all shorter than they were supposed to be b/c of drugs, sickness, or their genius itself being their downfall. I don’t want to be famous because in all reality what is fame? I just want to go home at the end of the day not caring if I play guitar or work out or just sit and do nothing, because I will already have some feeling of accomplishment like I did something productive with my day. That would be a great feeling… and something worth passing on when I have my own family.
Virginia Tech
Virginia Tech Shootings- Comment if you feel the need:
Given what has happened the last few days with the shootings and bomb threats at the Virginia Tech Campus I have found myself perplexed with a lot of unanswered questions. First of all, generally speaking, when is enough… just simply enough. When are we as a human race going to learn the valuable lessons that can come from these tragedies, find the good in the bad, come together, and do our part to encourage one another to prevent these cowardly acts of violence against innocent bystanders? A campus sits in shock after the worst shooting in American history and some callous dimwits are calling in bomb threats the next day all over the nation. Is it that the students aren’t already scared enough? Seriously, show some respect for the people who had their lives, hopes, and dreams, all ended short because of one person’s senseless display of bloodshed. There is no need for copycats, what we need is for everyone to open their eyes, because if we don’t these kinds of things will keep happening until we do.
Planes mysteriously crash, ships sink, cars lose control, day in and day out people die from cancer, disease, even the most absurd of accidents that you couldn’t think of if you tried. Accidents are random and could happen to anyone, today you could be sitting here, and tomorrow a group of your friends could be sitting around with your family wondering how this could have happened to you. Perfectly healthy people get sick all the time, and all of this is hard enough to deal with. Hard enough to be more than enough without some loner, with psychological problems, who should be reaching out for help, but instead pushes people away his entire life, who showed signs long before his malicious run through campus that murderous ideas like this were played out like a screenplay in his head, kills 33 people along with injuring almost as many on some violent campus rampage. How this person can do what he did… I will never know or understand. To fight for your country or in the name of religious beliefs and kill a man is something some men/women never let go of but carry with them in perspective; however, to just not say one word, have absolutely no basis for your actions, walk into a class room, and assassinate people like this guy did is beyond me. I can only pray the victims are in a better place, and this lunatic is standing before the only person who can judge him now getting what he deserves.
Whether it be a gutless sniper on top of a tower at the University of Texas, trench coat murderers with a small arsenal terrorizing Columbine High School, a madman blowing up a building in Oklahoma City to pieces without remorse, or terrorists flying planes into skyscrapers filled with thousands of people, we have had so many chances to learn from these disasters that life cannot be taken for granted… yet we walk blind in the same direction as before once the dust seems to settle. For a week or a month we talk about what happened, its all over the news, people set up memorials, gather and light candles, some even write blogs like this, but the most important thing we seem to let go of as time passes. Sure we can only do so much, and you can never prevent things like this from happening, but the mentality most of the time is I’m sorry it happened but the effects of it aren’t lived out by me since it didn’t directly affect me. This is where we are wrong because it affects all of us as a nation, as a people, and as a human race.
What I am trying to say, and it’s mostly out of frustration watching the coverage of the events Monday, is that we can do so much more afterwards. Watching a shocked police chief who could have never been prepared for what happened have to defend himself on a podium to a group of reporters made me sick to my stomach. These reporters are ruthless and only want a story; they don’t realize “their story” is what is leading the people in the wrong direction. The public reads what they write in the aftermath of all these people being killed and their focus is turned away from what’s important to blaming others for their actions. Do you know whose fault it is… it’s the maniac strolling around campus with a 9mm’s fault. Do something to make light of the situation instead of point fingers. We always want to point the finger like that will solve something. That doesn’t bring these people back; it just adds fuel to the fire.
Why don’t we spend more time focusing on the heroes of the day instead of questioning a chain of events that at the time can’t even be released due to an investigation? What about the students who barricaded the door to a classroom so the shooter couldn’t come back into the room and kill or injure more of their fellow classmates. Or what about the professor who took bullets and lost his life so his students could potentially get out of the class room. Then there is always the emergency room where the students were all taken. The ER in this small town had never experienced anything like this and the students coming in according to one report had a minimum of three bullet wounds each. These people, along with police, SWAT, EMT’s, all saved lives, and did what they could during a horrific chain of events.
Our society today is always focused on the “what if.” After the fact, hind sight view, “what should we have done.” You can train and prepare for the worst, but plans are made to be a broad course of action that only gets better as experiences prove them to be effective or ineffective. That doesn’t make anyone wrong. And the people who sit back and judge how ineffective the plans were didn’t have bullets flying at their head. Sure there is always a time to sit back and talk about what you could have done better, what you did right, but not a few hours after the guns go off when they are still carrying bodies out of classrooms. I mean come on, do we really need to put the police chief up at a podium and interrogate him or should be maybe just let him make his statement and continue doing his job. These idiot reporters asked the same 10 questions over and over he could not answer at the time.
Lots of times we talk about how many were killed or injured in a catastrophe like this like that number is how we judge the severity. It goes so much farther than that. Imagine the total losses/pain, their hurt for missing family, friends, and significant others, or the poor people who have to witness these hateful acts. This never goes away, it stays with them always.
So what can we do? Really I don’t know… I just think each person has a responsibility, to his/her self, and to the other billions of people on this planet, to act with some sort of respect for one another. I may not like you, you may not like me, maybe we don’t agree on the same things and that is all fine. What gives one person the divine right to take another person’s life is not for me to decide. But, to live is to fight another day, to live is to dispute with one another and learn from one another. I think we are all living to learn from one another. Remember your ways of thinking 5 years ago and just think about how they will change as society and the people around you gyrate in this tail spin of life. Someone like this eccentric student at Virginia Tech might think twice about killing innocent people if he had to see the faces of the families he has damaged. He might sit down and talk to these “rich students” and “women” he despised and see there was more to them than their social status and his preconceived notions. Violence is never an answer, it’s an expression, and for the life of me I will never understand how this student could express himself this way. It will be on everyone’s mind for a while, but once we let our guard down… another senseless act will slap us across the face and show us the reality of things and the world we live in today.
Given what has happened the last few days with the shootings and bomb threats at the Virginia Tech Campus I have found myself perplexed with a lot of unanswered questions. First of all, generally speaking, when is enough… just simply enough. When are we as a human race going to learn the valuable lessons that can come from these tragedies, find the good in the bad, come together, and do our part to encourage one another to prevent these cowardly acts of violence against innocent bystanders? A campus sits in shock after the worst shooting in American history and some callous dimwits are calling in bomb threats the next day all over the nation. Is it that the students aren’t already scared enough? Seriously, show some respect for the people who had their lives, hopes, and dreams, all ended short because of one person’s senseless display of bloodshed. There is no need for copycats, what we need is for everyone to open their eyes, because if we don’t these kinds of things will keep happening until we do.
Planes mysteriously crash, ships sink, cars lose control, day in and day out people die from cancer, disease, even the most absurd of accidents that you couldn’t think of if you tried. Accidents are random and could happen to anyone, today you could be sitting here, and tomorrow a group of your friends could be sitting around with your family wondering how this could have happened to you. Perfectly healthy people get sick all the time, and all of this is hard enough to deal with. Hard enough to be more than enough without some loner, with psychological problems, who should be reaching out for help, but instead pushes people away his entire life, who showed signs long before his malicious run through campus that murderous ideas like this were played out like a screenplay in his head, kills 33 people along with injuring almost as many on some violent campus rampage. How this person can do what he did… I will never know or understand. To fight for your country or in the name of religious beliefs and kill a man is something some men/women never let go of but carry with them in perspective; however, to just not say one word, have absolutely no basis for your actions, walk into a class room, and assassinate people like this guy did is beyond me. I can only pray the victims are in a better place, and this lunatic is standing before the only person who can judge him now getting what he deserves.
Whether it be a gutless sniper on top of a tower at the University of Texas, trench coat murderers with a small arsenal terrorizing Columbine High School, a madman blowing up a building in Oklahoma City to pieces without remorse, or terrorists flying planes into skyscrapers filled with thousands of people, we have had so many chances to learn from these disasters that life cannot be taken for granted… yet we walk blind in the same direction as before once the dust seems to settle. For a week or a month we talk about what happened, its all over the news, people set up memorials, gather and light candles, some even write blogs like this, but the most important thing we seem to let go of as time passes. Sure we can only do so much, and you can never prevent things like this from happening, but the mentality most of the time is I’m sorry it happened but the effects of it aren’t lived out by me since it didn’t directly affect me. This is where we are wrong because it affects all of us as a nation, as a people, and as a human race.
What I am trying to say, and it’s mostly out of frustration watching the coverage of the events Monday, is that we can do so much more afterwards. Watching a shocked police chief who could have never been prepared for what happened have to defend himself on a podium to a group of reporters made me sick to my stomach. These reporters are ruthless and only want a story; they don’t realize “their story” is what is leading the people in the wrong direction. The public reads what they write in the aftermath of all these people being killed and their focus is turned away from what’s important to blaming others for their actions. Do you know whose fault it is… it’s the maniac strolling around campus with a 9mm’s fault. Do something to make light of the situation instead of point fingers. We always want to point the finger like that will solve something. That doesn’t bring these people back; it just adds fuel to the fire.
Why don’t we spend more time focusing on the heroes of the day instead of questioning a chain of events that at the time can’t even be released due to an investigation? What about the students who barricaded the door to a classroom so the shooter couldn’t come back into the room and kill or injure more of their fellow classmates. Or what about the professor who took bullets and lost his life so his students could potentially get out of the class room. Then there is always the emergency room where the students were all taken. The ER in this small town had never experienced anything like this and the students coming in according to one report had a minimum of three bullet wounds each. These people, along with police, SWAT, EMT’s, all saved lives, and did what they could during a horrific chain of events.
Our society today is always focused on the “what if.” After the fact, hind sight view, “what should we have done.” You can train and prepare for the worst, but plans are made to be a broad course of action that only gets better as experiences prove them to be effective or ineffective. That doesn’t make anyone wrong. And the people who sit back and judge how ineffective the plans were didn’t have bullets flying at their head. Sure there is always a time to sit back and talk about what you could have done better, what you did right, but not a few hours after the guns go off when they are still carrying bodies out of classrooms. I mean come on, do we really need to put the police chief up at a podium and interrogate him or should be maybe just let him make his statement and continue doing his job. These idiot reporters asked the same 10 questions over and over he could not answer at the time.
Lots of times we talk about how many were killed or injured in a catastrophe like this like that number is how we judge the severity. It goes so much farther than that. Imagine the total losses/pain, their hurt for missing family, friends, and significant others, or the poor people who have to witness these hateful acts. This never goes away, it stays with them always.
So what can we do? Really I don’t know… I just think each person has a responsibility, to his/her self, and to the other billions of people on this planet, to act with some sort of respect for one another. I may not like you, you may not like me, maybe we don’t agree on the same things and that is all fine. What gives one person the divine right to take another person’s life is not for me to decide. But, to live is to fight another day, to live is to dispute with one another and learn from one another. I think we are all living to learn from one another. Remember your ways of thinking 5 years ago and just think about how they will change as society and the people around you gyrate in this tail spin of life. Someone like this eccentric student at Virginia Tech might think twice about killing innocent people if he had to see the faces of the families he has damaged. He might sit down and talk to these “rich students” and “women” he despised and see there was more to them than their social status and his preconceived notions. Violence is never an answer, it’s an expression, and for the life of me I will never understand how this student could express himself this way. It will be on everyone’s mind for a while, but once we let our guard down… another senseless act will slap us across the face and show us the reality of things and the world we live in today.
MySpace Debutantes
By definition, a debutante is a young woman, usually 18, making her debut into society. Unfortunately, some of the young women on Myspace are making the “wrong debut” into society. Wrong maybe isn’t fair, and definitely just an opinion, but I do have to say this about your past time, which is a fact Im sure… its annoying.
Ok, so maybe you like to take your clothes off, this cant be that bad of a thing to do under the right circumstances I know, and sometimes maybe you like to video tape yourself or sit on your bed in front of your trusty web cam and practice your bedroom gymnastics, again Im sure that works out great for you. Im not going to waste your time or mine judging you on what your hobbies are, my only problem is I get the same messages… every day… word for word… from Sarah XoxOXOxo (Big Kiss, Little Hug, Little Kiss, Big Hug, Big Kiss, Big Hug, Little Kiss, Little Hug) or one of her “associates” saying the same type of things that definitely are a waste of my time… literally just to sit there and delete them all. Your profile says you live in Dayton, OH but you just moved into my area (Houston???) and saw my page, so you want to be friends now huh… makes perfect sense where do I sign???, looking to meet some new friends in a new area with your legs spread open across your computer desk is always the most effective way Im sure? Maybe I should try that? I can see how that works great for you. And you want me to hit you up on MSN but not AIM b/c it freezes all the time? And you are new to Myspace so it may take you a while to respond to a message if in fact I am stupid enough to waste my time doing so? I don’t talk on AIM or MSN, I talk to my friends… on myspace, and all you do is get in the way of that and give this site a bad name. You are new to myspace b/c every time you make a page you get kicked out for putting some bullshit material up and if you aren’t sending stupid messages with a different name each time that are all the same person you are annoying me with endless friend requests. Yes you are very talented, very sneaky, congratulations. 15 requests pop up and all are… you guessed it still Sarah from earlier, just with 15 different profiles that all have made up names to get your attention/ look different… and if you actually take the time to look at any of them, giving them the benefit of the doubt that one of the pages wont have the same ten disgusting pictures you have seen before, you find that again you were wrong. Some of them let you click on their page only to find out now you get to download the “My space Adult Viewer”… make sure you do this though because then once you get that all set up you can look at the real nice, classy girls. Detect sarcasm here…maybe… You guys who actually add these debutantes as friends don’t help the cause at all either. Seriously think man. Its all bullshit and a waste of time. As if porn isn’t big enough on the Internet? You feel the need to put yourself exposed on this site. What bothers me is not that you do it… that’s none of my business, I just don’t want to see it. Looking at the picture of half of your ass hanging out doesn’t intrigue me or get me excited, it makes me sick to my stomach and pissed off that I have to spend time looking at your disgusting pics, denying your requests, and deleting your same lame ass messages, 50 times a day. Best of luck to you, but FUCK OFF, and I mean that in a good Christian Way…
And no I should not have to set my profile up as private to block everyone just because of you dumb bitches.
Ok, so maybe you like to take your clothes off, this cant be that bad of a thing to do under the right circumstances I know, and sometimes maybe you like to video tape yourself or sit on your bed in front of your trusty web cam and practice your bedroom gymnastics, again Im sure that works out great for you. Im not going to waste your time or mine judging you on what your hobbies are, my only problem is I get the same messages… every day… word for word… from Sarah XoxOXOxo (Big Kiss, Little Hug, Little Kiss, Big Hug, Big Kiss, Big Hug, Little Kiss, Little Hug) or one of her “associates” saying the same type of things that definitely are a waste of my time… literally just to sit there and delete them all. Your profile says you live in Dayton, OH but you just moved into my area (Houston???) and saw my page, so you want to be friends now huh… makes perfect sense where do I sign???, looking to meet some new friends in a new area with your legs spread open across your computer desk is always the most effective way Im sure? Maybe I should try that? I can see how that works great for you. And you want me to hit you up on MSN but not AIM b/c it freezes all the time? And you are new to Myspace so it may take you a while to respond to a message if in fact I am stupid enough to waste my time doing so? I don’t talk on AIM or MSN, I talk to my friends… on myspace, and all you do is get in the way of that and give this site a bad name. You are new to myspace b/c every time you make a page you get kicked out for putting some bullshit material up and if you aren’t sending stupid messages with a different name each time that are all the same person you are annoying me with endless friend requests. Yes you are very talented, very sneaky, congratulations. 15 requests pop up and all are… you guessed it still Sarah from earlier, just with 15 different profiles that all have made up names to get your attention/ look different… and if you actually take the time to look at any of them, giving them the benefit of the doubt that one of the pages wont have the same ten disgusting pictures you have seen before, you find that again you were wrong. Some of them let you click on their page only to find out now you get to download the “My space Adult Viewer”… make sure you do this though because then once you get that all set up you can look at the real nice, classy girls. Detect sarcasm here…maybe… You guys who actually add these debutantes as friends don’t help the cause at all either. Seriously think man. Its all bullshit and a waste of time. As if porn isn’t big enough on the Internet? You feel the need to put yourself exposed on this site. What bothers me is not that you do it… that’s none of my business, I just don’t want to see it. Looking at the picture of half of your ass hanging out doesn’t intrigue me or get me excited, it makes me sick to my stomach and pissed off that I have to spend time looking at your disgusting pics, denying your requests, and deleting your same lame ass messages, 50 times a day. Best of luck to you, but FUCK OFF, and I mean that in a good Christian Way…
And no I should not have to set my profile up as private to block everyone just because of you dumb bitches.
Blog 2
Just some more random things bouncing around my head trapped in this damn cubicle at work all day… I don’t care if anyone reads this stuff, its pretty entertaining to me and Im bored so leave a comment or hate mail or a whatever you want if you feel necessary.
I see this every day around where I work and I want to discuss a little thing called “The Thirty Thousand Dollar Millionaire.” You, (the thirty thousand dollar millionaire) drive a leased vehicle you can barely afford, that you absolutely can not drive… at all, because you are more concerned with how you look in the vehicle than causing a 4 car pile up on Post Oak, hell you may not even lease the ride… at the end of the night you may take it back to the dealership where your friend works and when no one is looking you drop the keys off and give it a quick wipe down only to hop on the bus and head home, you shop at all the “trendy” places, eat out at all the over priced places, pay to park everywhere you go, you always over dress only to look exactly like the fifteen other idiots standing next to you drinking their Michelob Ultra, you account for a few hours after work on a Friday to spend at the Galleria buying an outfit for that night that looks just like the outfit you wore out last Friday night, a briefcase is a fashion accessory to you so you will look important, and a tie is an every day fashion statement to you negating the tie/tux effect which I will talk about later, you wear your PDA on your hip and constantly check your email only to see the only “business” email you have is some chick named Candy from Match.com, you go to bars on $9 beer night and have one followed by a fruity shot and a martini as you then prance around the dance floor like it’s a meat market attempting to fight off your cloned vultures doing the same stupid thing, you absolutely without a doubt can not dance, you attempt to pick up women only to go back to their place so they don’t see that you aren’t Donald Trump’s long lost son, so in fact you are getting picked up, nothing about you is unique or anything that you could remotely call your own, your big muscles truly come out on your ride home from the bar by yourself after another unsuccessful night with the windows down jamming the hell out of Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful,” at least the next failure is only 7 days away, or you could push it and go out on Saturday, all of your time is devoted to how you look in the mirror yet the extent of an intelligent conversation to you is what set you are on at the gym, you claim to be the man’s man yet your secret favorite two words are say them with me… “man purse,” you have one of two things tattooed on your arm… your fraternity letters or barbed wire, maybe you are bad ass and you have both, I know thats crazy, you live in an apartment about the size of your office at work just so you can say that you do in fact live “in town,” and after all this if you were half as important as you thought you were you would be sitting down having a cocktail with Scarlett Johannson, not Sherri Johannson… the girl in accounting. I could go on with this but you get the point, Welcome to Midtown everyone… thank God I only work down here, I live in the burbs ya heard me.
I think there is a direct connection between how much shit a person has in their cubicle or office at work… and how long they plan on being there. For instance, my cubicle has a tray, a few pens, a phone, a computer, a chair, a tranquility fountain (which was a gift and brought me no tranquility since the batteries died in ten minutes), and a Spawn drawing I have done which has turned out to be quite the “big deal.” None of that says anything other than Im a phone call away from packing all my stuff up and getting out of here in 5 minutes. Or you know what, I’ll leave everything for the next poor bastard to come sit here, besides the drawing, it will be a nice frame work to start the cubicle building process off of that I apparently don’t get. Common ridiculous things I see… Lamps, there are 15 long fluorescent bulbs directly above just my desk, half of them are unscrewed and the lady next to me has a freaking lamp on, you need sunglasses in here for cryin out loud but she needs a lamp to see the fine print on her TPS Reports. Plants… what is the deal with plants, I guess that says Im committed to this relationship (that being the job) and Im willing to give it a try and raise this plant in this cubicle, but if shit hits the fan Im taking the kids (the plant) with me and Im hitting the road, Ill send you the papers in the mail. If you go on vacation you would most likely leave the front door of your house wide open than not make sure you had someone who was going to water your plant. Wallpaper, photos, pictures frames, diplomas, awards, your intramural flag football championship trophy from college, I get it, you try to make the little space you have personal. But to me, when you bring your home life to work, your work life comes home with you. I wont ever be like that. When I leave work I leave it till the next morning, and if you come by my desk you wont see a picture of who I went out with last Friday, all you will see is Spawn sayin get the f#ck out of my cubicle… and leave the mechanical pencil you just tried to jack. Blouses
Who decided one day that the standard ready position for the toilet was with the seat down, why cant it be with the seat up, then men could go to the bathroom and say, “Hey Honey, Why didn’t you leave the seat up?” Just a thought not sure where that came from.
Why do they call the place at the airport where you are sitting… waiting, putting your life in a pilots hands who is hopped up on Nodos and Red Bull, the Terminal? Seriously?
And if there is a regulated speed why is it called the “Freeway?” What is free about it, you have set lanes, set exits, a speed limit, and traffic which restricts your movement and doesn’t free anything. I spend an hour on the freeway every day and I feel anything but free.
What person set the popular way of thinking in our society today of simply only wanting what you cant have? Or not really wanting something until you have lost it? WTF? Way to go whoever you are, you really messed things up for a lot of people. Jerk
My dream job… there is a guy, not the best looking man in the world, who happens to have a pony tail and who is blessed with some extra baggage, who has my dream job and I have to take it from him, well maybe my dream part time job, I have some other ideas. This man, works the Victoria Secret runway shows. He stands at the top of a set of stairs from below where the girls get ready up to the stage where they walk out… and he simply takes their hand, walks them up the stairs… and on to the next one. He then waits… and does nothing but hang out with super models… and collects a check that triples mine. What was I thinking, Insurance… come on.
The Tux effect… what is it about Suits and Tuxedos that just makes shit happen. Weddings, weddings, weddings is all I have to say. The last wedding I went to we all had them on and I swear to you it’s the only time in my life I have been approached by women blatantly in a bar with I want to take you home and make a man out of you eyes. Granted they were older and had big scary tits that still didn’t block the clear view of their ring fingers which were occupied and/or their husbands standing next to them… but that is besides the point, they make shit happen. Watching the real world and experiencing the “Tux Effect” have given me a combined idea that will most likely get stolen now that Im mentioning it. It’s a movie… or a TV show, a reality show, go figure, where we fight the system. My friends and I go buy… not rent, buy tuxedos and wear them to bars on Friday and Saturday nights. We have a film crew follow us and we either make it into a show or a documentary on the “Tux Effect.” Just countless footage of how by simply putting on a tuxedo, and pulling the we just came from a Wedding Card, shit gets crazy. Wedding Crashers the movie is a totally different concept so don’t even say it, this focuses on the after effects, I think it could work, we could even take it on the road, and if we were in small towns and didn’t want to be too formal, we could wear tuxedo t-shirts at the bars to let them know we aren’t locals but we are here to party.
Do you know the scene in Office Space where the Bobs come in and they are interviewing everyone trying to figure out what everyone does to increase efficiency and lay off a bunch of people? They ask Tom Smykowski what is it exactly that he does. He tells them he mediates between the engineers and the customers. The Bobs ask then why cant the engineers just talk to the customers and vice versa. Well Tom, we are in the same boat. I work with Underwriters (They write insurance) and Corporations (Who need the insurance). Some guy calls someone at my company and tells them to tell the underwriter exactly what he needs. We then call the Carrier and relay the message. Some time later we get what the client ordered from the underwriter… check it, and send it to the client wasting our time saying here is what you ordered. Still with me… we do nothing. Yeah maybe we understand a little bit more than the client would… or we save them some time, but just like they fired Tom, they are on to us. 325 layoffs and the Houston office closing, Im out of a job in Sept. (thank God b/c I need to get out of here) and 3600 layoffs nation wide. Gotta give it to the “big guns” at this company, it only took them how long to figure this out. These people get to sit in their big offices once this dust settles and take another ten years to make another easy decision the high school intern down the hall way could have made on his lunch break. I could say a lot more about this but whats the point. The point is don’t work in insurance, its all over the ladies faces here and if you cant read it they will tell you, get out while you can. Thanks for the memo…
There is a waste of space Security Guard here at my company who goes way above and beyond the call of duty. You know who you are… well, maybe you don’t. You are the jackass standing out in the cold at 8:00am with a radar gun in a parking garage. Better not exceed 10mph in the garage or this guy will hit you with the hammer, a written letter from Post Oak Management saying 12mph is just way too fast. Meanwhile, while dipshit is keeping everyone in the parking lot from speeding, people are banging their doors against mine, parking crooked, hitting the front of my truck and scratching it up, but Captain Ass isn’t worried about that at all, b/c while they are doing all that stuff… they don’t break the 10mph speed limit. Good lookin out Dick
Some things that have been bothering me…over sized purses/ bags these women are carrying around… unless you work for Mary Kay and you are about to hand a sample of eye shadow to every lady in the restaurant get that bag under control, traffic as always, people who wear their phones on their hip… I swear I saw a guy the other day with a Laptop strapped on to his hip walking in the mall, so unnecessary, the blue tooth crap… have we not seen the commercials, you people make us look like idiots, you talk out in the open, walk past us… look at us and when we speak back its like why are you talking to me Im on the phone… well excuse me I didn’t see your invincible phone Im just going to get in my invincible car and get the hell out of here, it will never happen again… until tomorrow, Damn.
I see this every day around where I work and I want to discuss a little thing called “The Thirty Thousand Dollar Millionaire.” You, (the thirty thousand dollar millionaire) drive a leased vehicle you can barely afford, that you absolutely can not drive… at all, because you are more concerned with how you look in the vehicle than causing a 4 car pile up on Post Oak, hell you may not even lease the ride… at the end of the night you may take it back to the dealership where your friend works and when no one is looking you drop the keys off and give it a quick wipe down only to hop on the bus and head home, you shop at all the “trendy” places, eat out at all the over priced places, pay to park everywhere you go, you always over dress only to look exactly like the fifteen other idiots standing next to you drinking their Michelob Ultra, you account for a few hours after work on a Friday to spend at the Galleria buying an outfit for that night that looks just like the outfit you wore out last Friday night, a briefcase is a fashion accessory to you so you will look important, and a tie is an every day fashion statement to you negating the tie/tux effect which I will talk about later, you wear your PDA on your hip and constantly check your email only to see the only “business” email you have is some chick named Candy from Match.com, you go to bars on $9 beer night and have one followed by a fruity shot and a martini as you then prance around the dance floor like it’s a meat market attempting to fight off your cloned vultures doing the same stupid thing, you absolutely without a doubt can not dance, you attempt to pick up women only to go back to their place so they don’t see that you aren’t Donald Trump’s long lost son, so in fact you are getting picked up, nothing about you is unique or anything that you could remotely call your own, your big muscles truly come out on your ride home from the bar by yourself after another unsuccessful night with the windows down jamming the hell out of Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful,” at least the next failure is only 7 days away, or you could push it and go out on Saturday, all of your time is devoted to how you look in the mirror yet the extent of an intelligent conversation to you is what set you are on at the gym, you claim to be the man’s man yet your secret favorite two words are say them with me… “man purse,” you have one of two things tattooed on your arm… your fraternity letters or barbed wire, maybe you are bad ass and you have both, I know thats crazy, you live in an apartment about the size of your office at work just so you can say that you do in fact live “in town,” and after all this if you were half as important as you thought you were you would be sitting down having a cocktail with Scarlett Johannson, not Sherri Johannson… the girl in accounting. I could go on with this but you get the point, Welcome to Midtown everyone… thank God I only work down here, I live in the burbs ya heard me.
I think there is a direct connection between how much shit a person has in their cubicle or office at work… and how long they plan on being there. For instance, my cubicle has a tray, a few pens, a phone, a computer, a chair, a tranquility fountain (which was a gift and brought me no tranquility since the batteries died in ten minutes), and a Spawn drawing I have done which has turned out to be quite the “big deal.” None of that says anything other than Im a phone call away from packing all my stuff up and getting out of here in 5 minutes. Or you know what, I’ll leave everything for the next poor bastard to come sit here, besides the drawing, it will be a nice frame work to start the cubicle building process off of that I apparently don’t get. Common ridiculous things I see… Lamps, there are 15 long fluorescent bulbs directly above just my desk, half of them are unscrewed and the lady next to me has a freaking lamp on, you need sunglasses in here for cryin out loud but she needs a lamp to see the fine print on her TPS Reports. Plants… what is the deal with plants, I guess that says Im committed to this relationship (that being the job) and Im willing to give it a try and raise this plant in this cubicle, but if shit hits the fan Im taking the kids (the plant) with me and Im hitting the road, Ill send you the papers in the mail. If you go on vacation you would most likely leave the front door of your house wide open than not make sure you had someone who was going to water your plant. Wallpaper, photos, pictures frames, diplomas, awards, your intramural flag football championship trophy from college, I get it, you try to make the little space you have personal. But to me, when you bring your home life to work, your work life comes home with you. I wont ever be like that. When I leave work I leave it till the next morning, and if you come by my desk you wont see a picture of who I went out with last Friday, all you will see is Spawn sayin get the f#ck out of my cubicle… and leave the mechanical pencil you just tried to jack. Blouses
Who decided one day that the standard ready position for the toilet was with the seat down, why cant it be with the seat up, then men could go to the bathroom and say, “Hey Honey, Why didn’t you leave the seat up?” Just a thought not sure where that came from.
Why do they call the place at the airport where you are sitting… waiting, putting your life in a pilots hands who is hopped up on Nodos and Red Bull, the Terminal? Seriously?
And if there is a regulated speed why is it called the “Freeway?” What is free about it, you have set lanes, set exits, a speed limit, and traffic which restricts your movement and doesn’t free anything. I spend an hour on the freeway every day and I feel anything but free.
What person set the popular way of thinking in our society today of simply only wanting what you cant have? Or not really wanting something until you have lost it? WTF? Way to go whoever you are, you really messed things up for a lot of people. Jerk
My dream job… there is a guy, not the best looking man in the world, who happens to have a pony tail and who is blessed with some extra baggage, who has my dream job and I have to take it from him, well maybe my dream part time job, I have some other ideas. This man, works the Victoria Secret runway shows. He stands at the top of a set of stairs from below where the girls get ready up to the stage where they walk out… and he simply takes their hand, walks them up the stairs… and on to the next one. He then waits… and does nothing but hang out with super models… and collects a check that triples mine. What was I thinking, Insurance… come on.
The Tux effect… what is it about Suits and Tuxedos that just makes shit happen. Weddings, weddings, weddings is all I have to say. The last wedding I went to we all had them on and I swear to you it’s the only time in my life I have been approached by women blatantly in a bar with I want to take you home and make a man out of you eyes. Granted they were older and had big scary tits that still didn’t block the clear view of their ring fingers which were occupied and/or their husbands standing next to them… but that is besides the point, they make shit happen. Watching the real world and experiencing the “Tux Effect” have given me a combined idea that will most likely get stolen now that Im mentioning it. It’s a movie… or a TV show, a reality show, go figure, where we fight the system. My friends and I go buy… not rent, buy tuxedos and wear them to bars on Friday and Saturday nights. We have a film crew follow us and we either make it into a show or a documentary on the “Tux Effect.” Just countless footage of how by simply putting on a tuxedo, and pulling the we just came from a Wedding Card, shit gets crazy. Wedding Crashers the movie is a totally different concept so don’t even say it, this focuses on the after effects, I think it could work, we could even take it on the road, and if we were in small towns and didn’t want to be too formal, we could wear tuxedo t-shirts at the bars to let them know we aren’t locals but we are here to party.
Do you know the scene in Office Space where the Bobs come in and they are interviewing everyone trying to figure out what everyone does to increase efficiency and lay off a bunch of people? They ask Tom Smykowski what is it exactly that he does. He tells them he mediates between the engineers and the customers. The Bobs ask then why cant the engineers just talk to the customers and vice versa. Well Tom, we are in the same boat. I work with Underwriters (They write insurance) and Corporations (Who need the insurance). Some guy calls someone at my company and tells them to tell the underwriter exactly what he needs. We then call the Carrier and relay the message. Some time later we get what the client ordered from the underwriter… check it, and send it to the client wasting our time saying here is what you ordered. Still with me… we do nothing. Yeah maybe we understand a little bit more than the client would… or we save them some time, but just like they fired Tom, they are on to us. 325 layoffs and the Houston office closing, Im out of a job in Sept. (thank God b/c I need to get out of here) and 3600 layoffs nation wide. Gotta give it to the “big guns” at this company, it only took them how long to figure this out. These people get to sit in their big offices once this dust settles and take another ten years to make another easy decision the high school intern down the hall way could have made on his lunch break. I could say a lot more about this but whats the point. The point is don’t work in insurance, its all over the ladies faces here and if you cant read it they will tell you, get out while you can. Thanks for the memo…
There is a waste of space Security Guard here at my company who goes way above and beyond the call of duty. You know who you are… well, maybe you don’t. You are the jackass standing out in the cold at 8:00am with a radar gun in a parking garage. Better not exceed 10mph in the garage or this guy will hit you with the hammer, a written letter from Post Oak Management saying 12mph is just way too fast. Meanwhile, while dipshit is keeping everyone in the parking lot from speeding, people are banging their doors against mine, parking crooked, hitting the front of my truck and scratching it up, but Captain Ass isn’t worried about that at all, b/c while they are doing all that stuff… they don’t break the 10mph speed limit. Good lookin out Dick
Some things that have been bothering me…over sized purses/ bags these women are carrying around… unless you work for Mary Kay and you are about to hand a sample of eye shadow to every lady in the restaurant get that bag under control, traffic as always, people who wear their phones on their hip… I swear I saw a guy the other day with a Laptop strapped on to his hip walking in the mall, so unnecessary, the blue tooth crap… have we not seen the commercials, you people make us look like idiots, you talk out in the open, walk past us… look at us and when we speak back its like why are you talking to me Im on the phone… well excuse me I didn’t see your invincible phone Im just going to get in my invincible car and get the hell out of here, it will never happen again… until tomorrow, Damn.
First post
Some random thoughts: Always be cautious about people who don’t look you in the eye when they talk to you, open doors for women… they like it and its not that hard… really, treat people how you want to be treated, every action has an equal and opposite reaction, if you slap someone in the face, you will get slapped back in the face, so if you don’t want to be slapped, don’t slap someone, what goes around does come around… eventually, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but your time is coming, and it will be worse because it will be when you least expect it, its worse to be disappointed in something someone doesn’t do than hurt by most things they will do to you, nothing is worse than giving up because it says you wont even try, most things are mind over matter… you can decide what you want to do, most people just give up or try something else before they get there, but if you don’t get the opportunity you have to know you tried everything to get there, if you didn’t it’s a horrible feeling, the body has a natural tendency to makes itself stronger when it fails so it can succeed the next time so push harder each time and you will get farther, apply that to your life. Never settle, you know what you want and at this point the list should be getting longer not shorter, you never know so ask, never feel bad for trying, if you get shot down get up at least you know what it feels like now and the next time it will be worse, but you can take so much more than you think you can, so move on and don’t stay in the same place, use the things that scar you and the things that hurt you in the past to drive you to get what you want in life, just because someone lets you down doesn’t mean you have to let yourself down, conquer your fears, tackle your dreams, and at the end of the day love the person you see in the mirror because if you cant, who can.
Elevator ethics… when you get on the elevator hung over on a Monday morning and you can barely hold yourself up after you have been driving in traffic for an hour trying to see straight, why is it that people feel obligated to start up a conversation with you that will usually end with a “Have a good one” before you get one word out otherwise. First of all, the phrase “Have a Good one” is just stupid to me. It’s like when someone asks you a question and before you answer it they yell the answer out like, Ha… I beat you, I wasn’t really interested in what you have to say, I just wanted to hear myself speak and to let you know to “Have a Good one”. And what is the “one.” Is it my day, my drive home, my walk into my house after work to find 3 supermodels waiting on me, I mean what are we talking about here so I know what “one” I’m supposed to have that is good. I can tell you this, I would be “having a good one” if I wasn’t in this elevator headed to the 6th layer of hell talking to you, but tell us how you really feel about your job now 4rest, really.
I have found lately that I’m pissed off about a lot of things, so in light of that I decided to list them. Today’s questions for a million dollars… why is there traffic?... wait for it, just a second, oh yeah I know, its because of stupid people that don’t know how to drive. Its funny how the State of Texas spends so much $ on signs to warn people that their exit is coming up and yet they wait another mile or two thinking something will miraculously open up in the line of 2,000 cars. Then they cut off 20 people as they cross four lanes all while waiving and thanking everyone whose tires are smoking for letting them by. Sure, no problem, I was in your way, lets do this again tomorrow. Its funny how the people going 80 have no trouble changing lanes yet the ones doing 25 seem to have so much trouble with it. My favorite is the lane merger. A big yellow sign that says Get Over or Lane Ends, merge right! And yet this sign is interpreted as pass on left till lane ends and cut off everyone, but don’t tell anyone because you are the only genius who thought of this, today is your lucky day, tomorrow the guy behind you gets a turn, don’t tell him though, it’s a surprise. Semi trucks… wow, these guys are so delirious from driving for 30 hours straight that they don’t realize they aren’t in Ferraris with trailers, and they need to get the hell out of the left lane. What do they do instead, drive ten miles an hour faster than they are supposed to, in the wrong lane, and cause a 14 car pile up that results in what else, you guessed it traffic. What a vicious cycle. Here is an idea, you drive for a living, how bout timing it to where you aren’t in rush hour trying to switch five lanes with a 200 foot trailer, just a thought but what do I know, I’m just trying to get home from work.
Bathroom ethics… I have received some random emails about this stuff, which are all funny, but the sad part is that they aren’t really followed. First off, let me say to the 40 year old man who just had chili dogs… I’m just trying to wash my hands and get the hell out of here so can I have just ten seconds before you come in here and there are murders. I know whats about to happen, and so do you, that is the only thing we should share, not the experience. Seriously, I don’t know what these people do at home, but have a heart, I don’t live with you, Im just an innocent bystander and I sure didn’t sign on for this. Take it easy, maybe we should do a sign in sheet on the outside of the door or sign up for specific times so I don’t ever have to deal with this awkward situation ever again. If you walk in and someone is doing some paperwork, give the person some privacy for crying out loud, don’t take your contacts out or even worse don’t post up next to them and ask for TP, that’s just weird man. This building has 30 stories with 100 bathrooms and you decided to come read the paper in this one, right now, what are the chances.
I recently have made the mistake of having people over nearly every weekend to my house to have some cocktails. What I haven’t figured out, is somehow my house got turned into a bar thus making my bathroom a bar restroom. I don’t know what these guys do when they go in there, but a bathroom and a shower is supposed to be a clean place, where God forbid you make yourself cleaner. Its like a bomb goes off in there and everything is moved all around. I don’t know how putting wet towels on the floor, moving floor mats, adding water to a roll of toilet paper, ripping down the shower curtain, putting tooth brushes in trash cans, smearing tooth paste on the mirror in the shape of a penis, or writing your name in shampoo all result in the toilet being in a different place or functioning differently. In the end that is the whole point of going in the room to begin with, unless this is some funny joke I don’t know about, if so very funny guys. Its not like Im hiding the trash cans in the living room or kitchen either. I don’t understand why putting a beer can in the trash is such a hard thing to do. Cigarette… meet ash tray, ash tray… meet cigarette, discuss. I haven’t told anyone this yet, but instead of getting a part time job on the weekends I decided to dress up like a maid, put on some Phil Collins, and clean my house for a few hours every Sat & Sun morning, its more rewarding for me than making $ or sleeping, thanks to everyone for their help in trashing my house so I can do this. Maybe I need to look into getting a bathroom attendant for Friday nights, maybe Chuck Norris if he is available, a nice roundhouse body kick to tha face would make people think twice about setting up a slip and slide in my bathroom wouldn’t it? I think locking the bathroom door would be cheaper, but then again I would have to replace the bathroom door so probably not, I wonder how much Chuck would run me? No telling how many doors he would kick down when he was bored.
I want to do a psychology experiment on what happens to attractive women as they get older. For some reason these girls grow up getting so much attention which they aren’t ever ready for that they turn into head cases and lose their damn minds. If she is attractive guess what, you are the 50th guy today to tell her that so shut up. She knows she is thanks to you and the other 49 guys today, which is why she has on the skirt, and the bra which makes her tits look twice their size. Her head is so big it barely fits on her shoulders and even if it does it will fall off eventually when it gets pulled in 15 different directions by 15 different guys. Let me guess, but you really like this one so you can make a difference, well… heard that before, even said it before, but get in line, take a number buddy. Does she have a boyfriend, of course she does, she may have five, you are #67 on the list so its not looking so good for you. But hey look at my ticket, there is hope, I’m #23, I may have a shot before Easter… yes, starting to get somewhere! You poor bastards. Does anyone know if there is a line somewhere with normal people in it. What is normal is a good question so maybe normal isn’t the best word to choose. Lets try attractive people who don’t suck. Most of the relationships I see make me physically sick to my stomach. Why do people make things so complicated and use their looks which are arguable as a reason to treat people like shit. And if your relationship does suck, I never asked to hear about it, so quit asking me for advice especially if you aren’t going to listen to me when I do give it. It’s a waste of my time to talk to a brick wall and some people pay good money for this shit. I will leave you with this one for free: Relationships are very simple, not simple in that you don’t have to make a lot of decisions, simple in that they are easy decisions if you care about the person and if you care about yourself. Its usually a Yes or No, followed by the necessary action which says so much more. Relationships can be summed in a multiple choice test question with three answers that most people keep getting wrong. When in a relationship… do you:
a.) Become best friends, have the time of your lives, build a life around each other including one another in your own.
b.) Fight all the time, hurt each other, drag on something that’s not there b/c you are comfortable being miserable b/c you have no confidence.
c.) Settle for what you know you can get from one other, be happy not to be alone, give up on what you want b/c you don’t have patience to wait for it.
I know what you are saying, I have the same problem deciding myself, maybe if we form a study group or get a hold of the test from last year we can figure it out. Here is a hint, It’s A, some people just need to hear that.
Now I’m not married, but I do know people on both sides of this argument, so I’m going to pick one. Just because you are married, doesn’t mean you have to lose all your friends. Yes you are married, congratulations by the way. Yes, you will have to spend a lot of time with your husband/wife, please let me know how the trip to Bed Bath & Beyond was. But come on man, seriously, one night a week, maybe every two weeks or even a month, to hang out with a friend, that’s healthy. It’s not saying you don’t want to spend time with your significant other, but it does say I care enough to give you the time, and I expect it too. Those people who stood next to you during your wedding made an impact on your life and helped get you to where you were that day, you respected them enough to have them stand next to you on that day, or watch from a seat, and share that moment with you. They were supposed to be celebrating a new chapter of your life with you, not saying goodbye to you. Your wife/husband will get you through the next twenty or thirty years, but some of your friends had your back long before and you are slapping them in the face acting like that doesn’t matter now. Just something to think about.
To go even further, despite popular belief in some areas, just because you are married, you definitely don’t have everything figured out. Just because you are engaged you don’t have everything figured out. This act does not help you figure anything out other than who you are ideally supposed to spend the rest of your life with. Congrats on that again but I hate to tell you, You are never going to have everything figured out, so quit lying to yourself, and quit feeding me bullshit I don’t want to hear. If you are married, that doesn’t give you the right to look down on your single friends like they are doing something wrong. They are living their life, and you are living yours. They may have different ideas about what you do, but they are not you, just like you are not them, never have been, never will be. Being married puts more on your plate, so does having kids, so you don’t have everything figured out, you have more to figure out, because that is what has been dealt to you right now. What has been dealt to me, being single, hanging out with friends, going to bars, trying to meet people, and making something of myself, is what has been handed to me so I’m going with it, doing my best, I don’t judge, what I have on my plate cant be compared to what you have on yours, so just handle your own business because you have plenty of it, and I will do the same. It’s said that I expect nothing from you anymore, but there are plenty of reasons for that, and I wont be judged based on what I do, because I’m consistent and never turned my back on anyone who made the same efforts as I do. It’s a tough thing to realize one day when you figure out who your true friends really are, who the people in your life you dated that really cared about you are, and who the people are that were around just when it was convenient. I’m finding that out more and more every day and it makes me questions a lot of things, mostly how people can be so selfish.
~Woods~
Elevator ethics… when you get on the elevator hung over on a Monday morning and you can barely hold yourself up after you have been driving in traffic for an hour trying to see straight, why is it that people feel obligated to start up a conversation with you that will usually end with a “Have a good one” before you get one word out otherwise. First of all, the phrase “Have a Good one” is just stupid to me. It’s like when someone asks you a question and before you answer it they yell the answer out like, Ha… I beat you, I wasn’t really interested in what you have to say, I just wanted to hear myself speak and to let you know to “Have a Good one”. And what is the “one.” Is it my day, my drive home, my walk into my house after work to find 3 supermodels waiting on me, I mean what are we talking about here so I know what “one” I’m supposed to have that is good. I can tell you this, I would be “having a good one” if I wasn’t in this elevator headed to the 6th layer of hell talking to you, but tell us how you really feel about your job now 4rest, really.
I have found lately that I’m pissed off about a lot of things, so in light of that I decided to list them. Today’s questions for a million dollars… why is there traffic?... wait for it, just a second, oh yeah I know, its because of stupid people that don’t know how to drive. Its funny how the State of Texas spends so much $ on signs to warn people that their exit is coming up and yet they wait another mile or two thinking something will miraculously open up in the line of 2,000 cars. Then they cut off 20 people as they cross four lanes all while waiving and thanking everyone whose tires are smoking for letting them by. Sure, no problem, I was in your way, lets do this again tomorrow. Its funny how the people going 80 have no trouble changing lanes yet the ones doing 25 seem to have so much trouble with it. My favorite is the lane merger. A big yellow sign that says Get Over or Lane Ends, merge right! And yet this sign is interpreted as pass on left till lane ends and cut off everyone, but don’t tell anyone because you are the only genius who thought of this, today is your lucky day, tomorrow the guy behind you gets a turn, don’t tell him though, it’s a surprise. Semi trucks… wow, these guys are so delirious from driving for 30 hours straight that they don’t realize they aren’t in Ferraris with trailers, and they need to get the hell out of the left lane. What do they do instead, drive ten miles an hour faster than they are supposed to, in the wrong lane, and cause a 14 car pile up that results in what else, you guessed it traffic. What a vicious cycle. Here is an idea, you drive for a living, how bout timing it to where you aren’t in rush hour trying to switch five lanes with a 200 foot trailer, just a thought but what do I know, I’m just trying to get home from work.
Bathroom ethics… I have received some random emails about this stuff, which are all funny, but the sad part is that they aren’t really followed. First off, let me say to the 40 year old man who just had chili dogs… I’m just trying to wash my hands and get the hell out of here so can I have just ten seconds before you come in here and there are murders. I know whats about to happen, and so do you, that is the only thing we should share, not the experience. Seriously, I don’t know what these people do at home, but have a heart, I don’t live with you, Im just an innocent bystander and I sure didn’t sign on for this. Take it easy, maybe we should do a sign in sheet on the outside of the door or sign up for specific times so I don’t ever have to deal with this awkward situation ever again. If you walk in and someone is doing some paperwork, give the person some privacy for crying out loud, don’t take your contacts out or even worse don’t post up next to them and ask for TP, that’s just weird man. This building has 30 stories with 100 bathrooms and you decided to come read the paper in this one, right now, what are the chances.
I recently have made the mistake of having people over nearly every weekend to my house to have some cocktails. What I haven’t figured out, is somehow my house got turned into a bar thus making my bathroom a bar restroom. I don’t know what these guys do when they go in there, but a bathroom and a shower is supposed to be a clean place, where God forbid you make yourself cleaner. Its like a bomb goes off in there and everything is moved all around. I don’t know how putting wet towels on the floor, moving floor mats, adding water to a roll of toilet paper, ripping down the shower curtain, putting tooth brushes in trash cans, smearing tooth paste on the mirror in the shape of a penis, or writing your name in shampoo all result in the toilet being in a different place or functioning differently. In the end that is the whole point of going in the room to begin with, unless this is some funny joke I don’t know about, if so very funny guys. Its not like Im hiding the trash cans in the living room or kitchen either. I don’t understand why putting a beer can in the trash is such a hard thing to do. Cigarette… meet ash tray, ash tray… meet cigarette, discuss. I haven’t told anyone this yet, but instead of getting a part time job on the weekends I decided to dress up like a maid, put on some Phil Collins, and clean my house for a few hours every Sat & Sun morning, its more rewarding for me than making $ or sleeping, thanks to everyone for their help in trashing my house so I can do this. Maybe I need to look into getting a bathroom attendant for Friday nights, maybe Chuck Norris if he is available, a nice roundhouse body kick to tha face would make people think twice about setting up a slip and slide in my bathroom wouldn’t it? I think locking the bathroom door would be cheaper, but then again I would have to replace the bathroom door so probably not, I wonder how much Chuck would run me? No telling how many doors he would kick down when he was bored.
I want to do a psychology experiment on what happens to attractive women as they get older. For some reason these girls grow up getting so much attention which they aren’t ever ready for that they turn into head cases and lose their damn minds. If she is attractive guess what, you are the 50th guy today to tell her that so shut up. She knows she is thanks to you and the other 49 guys today, which is why she has on the skirt, and the bra which makes her tits look twice their size. Her head is so big it barely fits on her shoulders and even if it does it will fall off eventually when it gets pulled in 15 different directions by 15 different guys. Let me guess, but you really like this one so you can make a difference, well… heard that before, even said it before, but get in line, take a number buddy. Does she have a boyfriend, of course she does, she may have five, you are #67 on the list so its not looking so good for you. But hey look at my ticket, there is hope, I’m #23, I may have a shot before Easter… yes, starting to get somewhere! You poor bastards. Does anyone know if there is a line somewhere with normal people in it. What is normal is a good question so maybe normal isn’t the best word to choose. Lets try attractive people who don’t suck. Most of the relationships I see make me physically sick to my stomach. Why do people make things so complicated and use their looks which are arguable as a reason to treat people like shit. And if your relationship does suck, I never asked to hear about it, so quit asking me for advice especially if you aren’t going to listen to me when I do give it. It’s a waste of my time to talk to a brick wall and some people pay good money for this shit. I will leave you with this one for free: Relationships are very simple, not simple in that you don’t have to make a lot of decisions, simple in that they are easy decisions if you care about the person and if you care about yourself. Its usually a Yes or No, followed by the necessary action which says so much more. Relationships can be summed in a multiple choice test question with three answers that most people keep getting wrong. When in a relationship… do you:
a.) Become best friends, have the time of your lives, build a life around each other including one another in your own.
b.) Fight all the time, hurt each other, drag on something that’s not there b/c you are comfortable being miserable b/c you have no confidence.
c.) Settle for what you know you can get from one other, be happy not to be alone, give up on what you want b/c you don’t have patience to wait for it.
I know what you are saying, I have the same problem deciding myself, maybe if we form a study group or get a hold of the test from last year we can figure it out. Here is a hint, It’s A, some people just need to hear that.
Now I’m not married, but I do know people on both sides of this argument, so I’m going to pick one. Just because you are married, doesn’t mean you have to lose all your friends. Yes you are married, congratulations by the way. Yes, you will have to spend a lot of time with your husband/wife, please let me know how the trip to Bed Bath & Beyond was. But come on man, seriously, one night a week, maybe every two weeks or even a month, to hang out with a friend, that’s healthy. It’s not saying you don’t want to spend time with your significant other, but it does say I care enough to give you the time, and I expect it too. Those people who stood next to you during your wedding made an impact on your life and helped get you to where you were that day, you respected them enough to have them stand next to you on that day, or watch from a seat, and share that moment with you. They were supposed to be celebrating a new chapter of your life with you, not saying goodbye to you. Your wife/husband will get you through the next twenty or thirty years, but some of your friends had your back long before and you are slapping them in the face acting like that doesn’t matter now. Just something to think about.
To go even further, despite popular belief in some areas, just because you are married, you definitely don’t have everything figured out. Just because you are engaged you don’t have everything figured out. This act does not help you figure anything out other than who you are ideally supposed to spend the rest of your life with. Congrats on that again but I hate to tell you, You are never going to have everything figured out, so quit lying to yourself, and quit feeding me bullshit I don’t want to hear. If you are married, that doesn’t give you the right to look down on your single friends like they are doing something wrong. They are living their life, and you are living yours. They may have different ideas about what you do, but they are not you, just like you are not them, never have been, never will be. Being married puts more on your plate, so does having kids, so you don’t have everything figured out, you have more to figure out, because that is what has been dealt to you right now. What has been dealt to me, being single, hanging out with friends, going to bars, trying to meet people, and making something of myself, is what has been handed to me so I’m going with it, doing my best, I don’t judge, what I have on my plate cant be compared to what you have on yours, so just handle your own business because you have plenty of it, and I will do the same. It’s said that I expect nothing from you anymore, but there are plenty of reasons for that, and I wont be judged based on what I do, because I’m consistent and never turned my back on anyone who made the same efforts as I do. It’s a tough thing to realize one day when you figure out who your true friends really are, who the people in your life you dated that really cared about you are, and who the people are that were around just when it was convenient. I’m finding that out more and more every day and it makes me questions a lot of things, mostly how people can be so selfish.
~Woods~
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